We were born trusting our bodies. When we were hungry or hurting or needed
attention, we knew it instinctually and we cried or suckled or reached for
our caregivers. We were born "good" with bodies and emotions that guided us.
And we remain "good at heart" with bodies and emotions that continue to
guide us
if we trust ourselves and are paying attention. Unfortunately for many of us, this inherent wisdom
gets lost during our growing-up years. We are infulenced away from our true-selves by well-meaning parents/care-givers, teachers,
peer pressure, cultural trends,and society in general. This diconnect from our true-self can be even more apparent if one was abused as a child or
experienced a traumatic event. We are told not to be angry, or sad, or scared and we
learn that our emotions are not okay. We are told not to cry or laugh or eat particular foods and we learn not to trust our impulses.
We are told to be seen and not heard, and we learn that our opinions are not valid. Ultimately, we learn how NOT to trust
ourselves; not to trust what our bodies and our emotions are telling us.
"We are told not to cry or laugh ... and we learn not to trust our impulses."
Life goes on and as we grow we develop beliefs about ourselves and others: I'm not
ok...There's something wrong with me...Others can't be trusted." Our experiences tend to reinforce
our beliefs. Soon these beliefs become stories that spin around and around
in our heads; they become tapes (or CDs or songs on the IPOD!) that replay over
and over and over again. They become facts to us; absolute truths. And
guess what? We behave based on our belief system about ourselves, others,
and the world around us! As discussed above, we have lost our ability to trust our bodies and
emotions. And without awareness of the wisdom we were born with (our
bodies and emotions) we are operating from only one source of wisdom: our
minds. And our minds don't always give us the whole picture. Real freedom comes when your knowing
comes from your thinking AND your emotions. Your body helps to make this link. Learn how to live mindfully, making choices that
take into account your body AND your mind AND your emotions. I present
you, the client, with the opportunity to reconnect with all of your
wisdom...to
remember, actually, the wisdom you were born with.
I am a Cognitive-Behavior (CBT) therapist with a special interest and
expertise in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I am also trained in Eye
Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Emotionally Focused
Couples Therapy (EFT). I also draw from a mindfulness-based therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
I help people meet their goals by examining the
connection between how they think, feel (emotionally and physically),
behave, and interact with their surroundings; and by teaching mindfulness,
cognitive restructuring, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and
interpersonal effectiveness skills. I work with adults in individual and couples therapy. I also conduct skills training groups - a passion of mine.
Therapy will always begin with a thorough assessment, including your reasons
for seeking counseling and relevant history. This may take a few sessions.
During this process, we will begin to develop our therapy relationship and
discuss treatment options. We will work together to define your problems,
establish your goals, and develop a treatment plan especially for you. We
will utilize effective researched therapy to treat your unique situation. In my experience, mindfulness skills,
meditation practice, and experiential techniques facilitate therapy (and life!), and are key to self-acceptance (try not to judge this statement),
the most vital step on the path to lasting change.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God [the Universe].
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God [the Universe] that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson
Types of Therapy
MINDFULNESS & MEDITATION
- The concepts of Mindfulness will give you the skills you need to
learn how to trust your SELF again.
- The practice of Meditation will help you bring these concepts alive and into your everyday life.
- Mindfulness and Meditation Resources.
COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR THERAPY (CBT)
Change the way you feel by changing the way you think and behave.
DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY (DBT)
DBT was originally developed as a comprehensive treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and I am trained and experienced in delivering this therapy. A key component of DBT is
the learning of skills needed to increase mindful attention, tolerate distress, regulate emotion, and interact effectively with others. These skills are vital for all of us and, not surprisingly,
DBT has been found to be helpful in treating a number of problems, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and substance abuse. I utilize DBT skills and concepts with most of my clients.
EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING (EMDR)
EMDR is approved by the American Psychiatric Association for the treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Perhaps you have experienced a traumatic incident. You may have symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty concentrating, and depression. You have read
about EMDR and think it might help. The mechanics of EMDR sound funny, even bizarre, but you know that EMDR is a well-researched and effective therapy for trauma.
One of the first things we do in EMDR therapy is to assess your ability to manage strong emotion. We work on skills (here I draw from DBT skills) as needed.
We'll identify the trauma or traumas in your life--they may be recent or from your childhood--and go through a step-by-step process to help relieve the intensity
of the emotion surrounding your trauma with the help of bilateral stimulation (eye movements or tapping or sound). When your emotions start to calm,
your thoughts become more positive, and your body more relaxed. Symptoms of trauma, and your quality of life, improve. The past becomes less menacing; the future looks more promising.
EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED COUPLES/FAMILY THERAPY (EFT)
You and your romantic partner are in distress. Perhaps you've been in therapy before, and although it's been helpful, the same old problems keep coming up. You've decided to
give EFT a try. You know it's an experiential therapy, and not just talk. One of our initial goals will be to identify the negative "cycle" that you and your partner are stuck in,
the cycle that seems to rear its ugly head in all kinds of circumstances. Here's an example: One partner accuses the other of not helping around the house. What are each partner's perceptions
of what's happening? (This is unfair! ) What are the emotions that are on the surface (anger), and then, what are the emotions that are underneath (hurt). Who is "the pursuer" in the relationship
and who is the "withdrawer"? How might you be responding to your current partner in similar ways that you've always responded in romantic relationships? (criticizing, defending, ignoring)
You'll both start to see how past relationships with your parents/caregivers impact your current relationship. But we go further in EFT. I will help you create a close, caring bond where you can find comfort in each other's arms. We'll work together to heal the emotional wounds that cause the distance in your relationship.